* * My folks love to travel!

Bahamas. Dominican Republic. Jamaica. Turks and Caicos. Aruba, Bonaire, Curacao. Barbados. Guadalupe.

I love to travel. St. Augustine said, “The world is a book and those who do not travel read only one page.” I’ve been to about 15 foreign countries and the next one I want to visit is the one I haven’t been to yet. In a moment, you’ll understand where that desire comes from.

The conversation happened the other night when my wife and I visited my parents at their house in Christiansburg right after they’d returned from a trip to Eastern Virginia. Dad, in his typical effusiveness, described a trip to Northampton County on the Eastern Shore, primarily to watch birdlife. “The barrier islands off the coast are absolutely beautiful and largely untouched.” Mom went to her hometown of Richmond, where she spent time with her sister and her childhood friend, “the only one of my five girlfriends who is still alive.”

Mom spent most of her life proclaiming she was 39 years old, only revising it when her eldest passed that milestone himself. She now is solidly in her eighties and happily admits – and appreciates – how vital she and dad remain.

Great Britain. Iceland. Norway. Sweden. Denmark. Greenland. Liechtenstein.

Mom got to running on about her childhood and her first travel experiences. In her formative years in Richmond, she got around by bus and streetcar; her parents never learned to drive. Her first trip by train was to Newark, New Jersey, to see some relatives and visit the New York World’s Fair in 1939, “a highlight!” she said. “We saw television at the first time at the Fair. Nobody except Amelia Earheart and barnstormers flew in those days. Rich people went to Europe, but by ship.” Her first flight was back from Raleigh, North Carolina, where as a teenager she deliberately missed her bus because she was interested in a boy. Mom as a degenerate: what an image!

Dad’s first flight was in 1952, with mom to Dad’s sister’s wedding. They flew from Roanoke to New York on a DC-3. By all reports, it was an awful flight.

Anyway, in spite of the enormous logistical challenges of putting a family of six on the road, I remember childhood car trips to the New York World’s Fair in 1964 and the Montreal World’s Fair in 1967. Dad grew up on Long Island, so we started making annual flights from Roanoke to La Guardia airport on old Piedmont Boeing 727 and 737 jets. Once the folks got us kids out of the house, traveling abroad became more frequent. Mom liked the cultural exploration and dad, always the naturalist, enjoyed the bird and animal life.

Italy. Spain. Israel. Morocco. Mexico. Canada. Switzerland. Austria.

When dad took up scuba diving, their travels truly kicked into high gear. They began visiting the world’s most fabulous underwater attractions, including the Great Barrier Reef, the Red Sea, Hawaii, and the Caribbean.

Mom has always been motion-adverse. “Even a porch swing makes me nauseous.” So her travels on cable-cars, small airplanes, and helicopters have been Dramamine-laced affairs. “The water was rough on the way to the Great Barrier Reef and it was miserable for me.” But she’s soldiered on! 

“At one point,” dad said, laughing deeply, “we had her walking on a knife-edge ridge in the Alps where the land dropped away on both sides hundreds of feet. I said to her, ‘Honey, do you see where you are?’ We did an abrupt about-face and made a hasty retreat!”

Together, we began listing and then counting the countries. Each of them has a special memory or two. Mom was enthralled by Israel, with its unparalleled religious history. Dad said, “Israelis live under a lot of stress every day, situated in the world’s roughest neighborhood surrounded by enemies.”

Dad really liked Iceland. “It’s a small country, but the landscape is fantastic. Because of the mild Gulf Stream climate and the thermal features, nobody has to pay for heating.”

Mom said, “Greenland isn’t green; it’s icy. The weather was awful! Late, late at night, the sun has set but it still stays light.”

Costa Rica. Australia. New Zealand. Cayman Islands.

Their list got to over thirty countries. Mom said, “When I was growing up, the scope and breadth of travel experiences I’ve had today was something I could never even dream about. It never entered my mind that I could ever do this.”

Will they add more? They’re going back to Bonaire in August. After that, “We’ll see what our health brings us,” Mom said.

Everyday Americans have travel opportunities that only kings and queens had 100 years ago. Following my parents’ lead, I hope to take advantage of them.

* * Mohsin Kazmi follows his heart

The current economy hasn’t been kind for recent college graduates. Mohsin Kazmi just finished a degree at Virginia Tech, but he’s chosen a different path than most to begin his working career.

I met Mohsin through my daughter, while they were attending college together. He’s an exuberant, handsome guy, with a magnetic personality. He and I share the love of motorcycles in particular, but we’re both adventure seekers as well. He came by the house the other week to say goodbye as he was moving back to live with his parents in his hometown in New Jersey.

“I am going to help a friend of mine start a rainforest conservation and expedition company that will take people on tours through the Madre De Dios region of the Peruvian Amazon.”

I asked him how he’d come to his decision when I knew he had “real” job offers in the corporate world.

“I started college at California University of Pennsylvania, near Pittsburgh. I originally wanted to be a veterinarian because I have always had an interest in animals and ecology. The college wasn’t right for me, but I met a zoology professor who profoundly influenced my life. I transferred to Virginia Tech and changed my major from pre-vet to human development. But I kept in touch with that professor who talked me into traveling to Madagascar where she was doing research. It was the first rain forest I’d ever been to, and I’ve been fascinated by rain forests since.

“In the meantime, I worked for a medical company called PDI Healthcare as a marketing consultant. They helped pay my way through Tech.

“During winter break 1-1/2 years ago, I met a man named Paul who was leading small tours in the Amazon. He had been making trips to the Amazon since he was 18. He had a network of knowledgeable indigenous people who help him escort volunteers through the Amazon. I made my first trip there last summer. As a wildlife photographer, it was an invaluable experience to be able to photograph a world I had never imagined seeing.

“I came back and resumed my studies, but I couldn’t get the Amazon off my mind. I found myself talking with Paul about the possibility of working with him. I got a good corporate job offer. But I decided to follow my dream and start a business with Paul to promote his trips and protect the Amazon.”

I wondered out loud when a person should start following his or her dreams. Mohsin said, “If I was telling an adult, I would say, ‘This is the right time.’ If I was telling a 22 year old like me I would say, ‘Any time is the right time.’

“I have seen so many people around me graduate from college and immerse themselves in careers and in raising families. They get sucked into the grind. I couldn’t see myself doing that. I am motivated by my passions and I had to take the risk.

“I found that whenever I had a conversation with a friend, I was always talking about the Amazon. It is the last frontier. There are tribes of people that have had no contact with the outside world. There are animals that have never been studied or catalogued. Part of me likes the danger; there are few support systems. But it is very appealing to me.

“To survive financially, I had to move back home. It was difficult because I love Blacksburg. My parents are first-generation Americans. They’ve always wanted me to be a doctor, lawyer, engineer, or other professional. They’ve given me one year to make this work. To them, I’m still the unemployed son. But they’ve decided it is best to let me follow my dreams and they support me fully in my endeavor.

“People measure success in many ways. One friend is a successful musician. One friend is a successful economist. I think my measure of success will be the stories I’ll be able to tell someday and the acres of rainforest that will still be standing.

“Blacksburg and Virginia Tech had a huge impact on me. Blacksburg is a special place. The most important thing I’ve taken from my Tech experience is an appreciation for the different walks of life on earth. Blacksburg is full of so many incredible people who are also following their dreams in some way. I love the roads and love motorcycling  and have found others who shared this passion (in Virginia). In New Jersey I can’t find people with the same passions. People in Virginia supported me in my dreams. Although I was raised in New Jersey, I feel like Blacksburg is the place where I grew up. I don’t imagine that I will be staying in New Jersey for long if my motorcycle has an opinion on the matter!”

* * A colonoscopy is no laughing matter!

Denise Fish is dead. She was a dear friend, a tiny, funny woman from Seattle. She died too young from colon cancer. Before she passed, she said to me once, “Colonoscopies are icky, but colon cancer is a million times worse.”

So I had one done recently.

Colon and rectal are among the most curable cancers, provided they are discovered early. That’s what the colonoscopy is for. As funny as I am going to attempt to make this article, this is serious, folks.

The routine was explained to me by Dr. Chava, a thin, dark-haired gastroenterologist in Blacksburg, who was going to do it for me. She seemed like a nice person, especially for someone who was planning to shove a long, garden-hose-like device up my hinterparts. It was difficult keeping sincere eye contact with a woman who was soon to be looking closely into an orifice that most people try to look away from. She was able to ask what seemed to be reasonable questions about bowel movements and stool consistency with an unflinching, earnest face and professional demeanor.

She sent me away with a “procedure” date and a proscription for what I could only describe as projectile poison.

You see, without getting too graphic here, when someone wants to take a close look into your exhaust plumbing, it must be free of, well, exhaust material.

The instructions on the package said, and I quote, “Drink only clear liquids that taste like toad spit 24 hours prior. Mix this toxic powder with 600 gallons of water, enough to fill a child’s swimming pool. Then, pinch your nose and swallow it.”

I did this dutifully, waiting patiently for whatever might result. I didn’t have to wait long! Let’s just say that when things got going, they moved with a vengeance. The word “explosive” comes to mind. Our commode became my best companion, as I spent most of the afternoon on it. I took a good book.

The next morning, I reported to the hospital where the “procedure” was to happen. They gave me a blue gown, which covered my obverse adequately, if not the reverse. A nurse plunged an IV needle into the back of my wrist, chiding me for suggesting that it felt like the sting of 1000 hornets.

Anyway, we made juvenile poop jokes while they wheeled my bed into the “procedure” room where Dr. Chava said re-assuring things before the Sandman visited. (Translation: I slept through the whole thing.)

In my next moment of awareness, I was in the “recovery” room where I was unknowingly saying things my wife would later tease me about.

Before I share the result, let me say boldly and loudly that health care charges are %$@#%# insane! My invoice was $2668 from the hospital, $576 from the anesthesiologist, $448 from the doctor, and $437 from the pathologist. What’s particularly maddening is that the hospital’s “regular” charge was $9084, but due to the special relationship they have with my insurance company, it was only $2668! What’s with that? I ran a manufacturing company once. For our products we charged a combination of parts and labor, tempered by the marketplace. The hospital seemingly can charge anything they want! Do they have some spin-the-wheel random price generator? As I understand it, some poor uninsured schlimazel would pay triple what my insurance company pays. If the hospital can cover their costs by charging $2668, how can they morally justify charging an individual $9084?

It’s no wonder our health care system is in crisis. I’m still wondering if somewhere I can have this done next time for, say, $216.87, particularly if I’m willing to go on a slow day.

Anyway, everything was deemed a success. I was shown photos of what looked like a pink subway tunnel without any trains in it that apparently was my insides.

As soon as I could stand up unaided, they kicked me out. (Not really! I swear it! They were very nice and I’m sure I could have stayed all afternoon if I’d simply said, “I’m still groggy. May I have another popsicle?”)

A couple of weeks later, still recovering from sticker shock, I returned to Dr. Chava’s office. She said she removed a polyp about the size of a small pea that she sent to the lab. But there was no cancer. So I am now able to resume telling tasteless proctology jokes until the next time, scheduled for five years hence.

So remember what Denise Fish said: cancer is awful and it might kill you. So right now, today, if you’re over 50 and haven’t done it, get your colon looked at by Dr. Chava or some other nice doctor, and extend your life.

* * (And only weeks later...) seeing the Vice President

This morning, I went to a political rally featuring Vice President Joe Biden here in Blacksburg.

Virginia is a battleground state this year – unusual for us – and President Obama, Governor Romney, and Congressman Ryan have all been to our state.

The venue was a small gymnasium on the Virginia Tech campus. There was a small seating area, but most of us stood while we waited and during the event itself. Each person in attendance passed through airport-style security before entry. There were lots of police and Secret Service agents around.

I visited with Barbara Newton, a friend from my Rotary Club, who stood beside me. I knew several others in attendance.

Three friends were given the opportunity to address the audience. Susan Kurtz is the leader of the Blacksburg Jewish Community Center called Hillel. I wrote an article about her recently as Hillel has just completed a new building near campus. She gave the invocation, including a short passage of Hebrew.

Ron Rordam is the mayor of Blacksburg. Chipper as always, he gave the town’s official welcome.

(I was surprised that VT President Charles Steger was not in attendance.)

Victoria Cochran who I have known for many years and is the wife of Montgomery County’s Democratic Chairman Steve Cochran, introduced the vice president. This was clearly one of the proudest moments of her life and she gave a brief but impassioned speech, focused on the accomplishments of the Obama administration with respect to her life.

Vice President Biden beamed broadly as he approached the podium. He made several references to the area and how much he was enjoying being here.

I didn’t take notes on what he said, so this is from memory and is merely my recollection.

He said he has spent several hours with President Obama most every day since they were inaugurated and he is continually impressed at the President’s fortitude, his “backbone” in making big decisions. Biden said he had never, not once, heard the president speak about any considerations of the political ramifications of his decisions. “I’ve never seen him once put his political future ahead of the country’s future.”

• ·      He said, the current crop of Republicans were nothing like their predecessors, the Jack Kemps, the Bob Doles and the Howard Bakers, or even Mitt Romney’s father George Romney. The new breed was significantly more radical and intransigent.
• ·      He said that in the face of considerable opposition at every turn, the Obama administration had achieved an admirable set of accomplishments, including the Affordable Health Care Act, the repeal of Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell, the regulation of Wall Street, the end of the Iraq War, and a timetable for the end of the Afghanistan War.

His final thoughts were, unsurprisingly, about the upcoming election and the clear distinction between the two parties. He said Romney, Ryan, and the Republicans believe the strength of America happens from the top down. Obama, Biden, and the Democrats believe the strength of America emanates from the middle-class outward. He said, “Romney and Ryan call their plan gutsy and bold. I don’t see what’s so gutsy about giving millionaires another tax break.”

Biden is an excellent speaker, modulating his voice and his energy to engage the crowd. He spoke with humility about his upbringing and his lessons from childhood.

He even teased himself for always saying whatever is on his mind, no matter what trouble it gets him in. He is a very likeable man indeed!

After the speech was over, he lingered for some time shaking hands and greeting everyone who wanted to stay around. His beaming face stood in sharp contrast to the Secret Service agents surrounding him, all wearing perpetual scowls. They looked like they could be the offensive line for the Washington Redskins. At one point, I had my hand in my pocket and one of them told me to take it out.

I spoke with Vice President Biden personally for a moment, complimenting him on his cameo appearance in this campaign video:

http://www.barackobama.com/road-traveled/

See his segment at the 10:30 point. It’s about the high-stakes decision Obama made to launch the attack that killed Osama bin Laden. Do yourself a favor and watch it.

Riding my motorcycle home in the rain, I was thinking about a letter to the editor in today’s Roanoke Times where the writer asks plaintively why anybody would vote for the Republicans, when clearly counter to their own economic well-being and the country’s. 

* * Sally needs her power

Sally Shupe is one of the nicest, friendliest, most even-tempered and uncomplaining people I know. But she could sure use some electricity.

The massive windstorm that swept through our area on June 29 left in its wake widespread power outages. The nature of the storm found local power companies largely unprepared. Hundreds of thousands of customers were left in the literal dark, forced to wait helplessly while their power was restored. Sally was one of the unluckiest ones. It’s now ten days later and she’s still waiting.

“It’s frustrating. I am annoyed, irritated, and aggravated. I’m feeling emotions I never felt before. We don’t mind waiting our turn like everybody else. But it seems like it’s never our turn. We go to restaurants that are swamped with people. They don’t want us to be there; we don’t want to be there. I’m angry and short-tempered.”

I met Sally a few years ago. She’s a voracious reader. She found my first book and loved it, but couldn’t resist getting in touch with me and pointing out a few grammatical errors. Since then, she’s devoted countless hours to the improvement of my other three books, working at recompense so meager I’m embarrassed to admit it. She’s an extraordinarily talented editor; she misses nothing! 

While she’s been suffering through this ordeal, at my house we never missed a minute of electricity. So my wife and I invited Sally and her husband to dinner last evening.

She said, “We live on the north side of Gap Mountain, just off US-460 in Giles County. For some reason, our power line comes over the mountain from Blacksburg. The power line corridor hasn’t been maintained in years. My neighbor complained to Appalachian Power Company some time ago, warning them about the type of situation we’ve now seen. Sure enough, when the winds came, the trees fell on it and down it went.

“The Saturday after it happened, we went to Pearisburg and none of the restaurants were open because they didn’t have power. We turned around and went back to Blacksburg.”

During the days that followed, Sally spent lots of time on the Internet and the telephone, trying to learn how the Power Company makes repair priority decisions and attempting to get a believable estimate on when her power would be restored. She understood that high-priority customers like hospitals, nursing homes, and water treatment plants were higher on the list. She also understood that if one downed line served 100 homes and another only served 10, the former would get more immediate attention. But still, “When I found out that another big storm was forecast for the Charleston, West Virginia area and the linemen working our area were re-directed up there, I got really angry.”

Apparently, her line serves very few houses. So it’s last on the priority list. The bugger is that when another storm hits, the higher priority areas can still move ahead of those still without power from the “main event.”

In the meantime, she’s been keeping some food in a cooler and looking for bags of ice every day. A small generator at the house powers a few lights and the TV. She and her family have bathed in water left to warm in a bucket outside in the hot sun. Fortunately, they had running water to drink and for flushing toilets, but no hot water. “Saturday after the storm, we had to throw everything in the freezer away. We were able to save some condiments from the refrigerator for a few days in a cooler, but it was so hot that stuff started spoiling, too. The house got SO hot! There was no breeze and what we had was hot. We’ve probably spent $500 so far to keep the generator running, buy ice every day, buy meals from restaurants, and keep a few things in a cooler.

“What’s most frustrating is that the power company keeps telling us when they’ll have power restored, but each deadline has come and gone. I wish they’d just be honest with us.”

After our dinner together, she and her husband left our house to return home to her dark, hot house, keeping their fingers crossed.

BREAKING NEWS! As I put finishing touches on this article the next day, Sally has reported that her power has finally been restored. She wrote on her Facebook wall, “What is that bright light in the living room? Why that's a light bulb. Hello Mr. Lightbulb. How’re you doing? It’s been a long time. It’s nice to see you again.” Apparently her humor has been restored as well.