* * Katrina Milburn has fought drug addiction

Katrina Milburn has been fighting demons for almost fifteen years. “I don’t feel like I’m a typical addict, but I am an addict nonetheless,” she admitted.

“I was diagnosed ADD (attention deficit disorder) my senior year in high school. I was captain of my volleyball team, I played soccer, and I made straight ‘A’s. My family is upstanding.

“My mother is German and my parents went to Germany every year to visit family. After (the attack on) 9/11, I began having nightmares that they would die in an airplane crash. I had bad anxiety. I worked at a beauty salon as a hair stylist. Another girl offered me methadone. It made me happy.”

(Methadone is not to be confused with methamphetamine or “meth”. Methadone is a legal, prescription only drug used to counter depression. Meth is illegal, an extremely addictive stimulant drug that is used to create an immediate, intense euphoria.)

“On the methadone, I didn’t cry any more. I took one every other day. Other than my supplier, nobody knew it was taking it, not even my parents or my boyfriend. When my parents got home safely, I stopped. But on a hike to the Cascades, I felt like I was dragging a bag of bricks. I had lost all my physical energy. My body was in withdrawal.”

Katrina is a slim, attractive woman, now in her early thirties. She has wavy blonde hair and expressive blue-grey eyes. She speaks in a rapid-fire staccato.

“I was spending around $100 per day on methadone. I had never done drugs before. I’d smoked some marijuana and drank some alcohol, but I didn’t consider myself an addictive person.

“My parents were always insensitive to me and my problems. Whenever I would mention a problem to mom, she’d just say, ‘get over it.’ All my life.”

She described the withdrawal as worse than the drug. “I couldn’t get out of bed. It is the worst experience anybody could have, worse I’m told than heroin withdrawal. It’s uncomfortable. Miserable. I kept calling in sick. I told my parents and my boyfriend. I tried to get treatment. I kept getting rejected. I wanted to stop, but I couldn’t.”

She finally obtained Suboxone, a medication approved for the treatment of opiate dependency, from the New River Community Services. Eventually she got cleaned up. She’s been drug-free for 10 years.

“During my addiction, I was making immature decisions. I was impulsive. I got into trouble with the law for writing bad checks. Once I was imprisoned for six weeks. I didn’t have health insurance and I have lupus, so I needed to see doctors. I wrote bad checks.

“I had a dog that I dearly loved, a shar-pei, that I took everywhere with me. It bit a couple of people and the authorities ordered me to put him down. After one of my hospital stays, he was taken in by the dog warden. He was beaten up, he had a broken leg, scrapes on his face, and black eyes. I didn’t feel like I had any friends or any support. I became suicidal. My boyfriend left me. My parents were never emotionally supportive. One day I had a rope around my neck, and when I called my mom she hung up on me. I almost killed myself that day, wondering how long it would take someone to find me if I did.”

Her road to recovery began with the New River Valley Community Service's Bridge program, designed to divert people with mental illness away from the criminal justice system and jail and into treatment. “I had written ten or more bad checks. I always intended to pay what I owed. But it was a vicious cycle. I was sick and I couldn’t work, so I couldn’t pay.”

Nowadays, she does some cosmetology work, but her heart lies in helping others with mental health. She has publicized her availability to young people struggling with depression and mental illness on a crisis hotline. She typically takes several calls each day. They tell her she’s their only hope.

“People everywhere are suffering from mental health,” she claimed. “It isn’t always acknowledged. I’ve heard that one in three at one time suffers. It may not be you, but it may be your son or daughter, your brother or sister, or the guy in the car beside you. It is anything from grief to anxiety, from sleep disorders or PTSD. These are not minor problems. They’re hard to overcome. The people suffering should reach out. Those who don’t have it are close to someone who does. It affects society in general. Jails are filled with people with mental illness. If they could be properly treated, it would save millions of dollars.

“I had lost hope. It’s the worst feeling in the world. I’m trying to prevent everybody from experiencing that like I did. I’m an empathic person. I feel their pain over the phone. Being alive today was one of the bravest things I’ve ever done.